Breaking Free
by Ereye
Summary: Jackie can't take it anymore and leaves without telling anyone. A couple years later, she comes back for Donna and Eric's wedding with a fiancee.
1. Chapter 1

Breaking Free

By: Ereye

Summary: Along the same lines as the current popular trend of "Jackie leaves and comes back years later," only I don't want them to have to wait so long. And she won't be pregnant. But there's heartache, growing up, angst and, eventually, mushiness. What more can people want?

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Chapter One: Closing Doors

Jackie shoved her face into the pillow, trying to stifle her sobs. She would not let Fez hear her cry. Jackie Burkhart did _not_ cry over boys. Especially over Steven Hyde.

It wasn't just Sam. It wasn't the fact that he didn't not want to get married, he just didn't want to marry her.

It wasn't the fact that both men she dated – she was going to say loved, but truthfully what she felt for Michael was nothing compared to what she did for Steven – were hypocrites. They cheated and treated her like garbage. And she forgave and tried to move on and be somebody someone could love in return. But, no. She _kisses_ the Cheese Guy, or is tempted to cheat - but doesn't - after Steven ends things. And suddenly it's the worst betrayal ever.

It wasn't the fact that going to the Foreman's basement no longer meant going home. It took her so long to be accepted into the group, but that group was where she belonged. Now, she felt as alien there as she did the first day Michael brought her there. And it wasn't the fact that Donna was friendly to Sam, and Michael and Fez thought she was hot.

Really, it was all of it, all combined together, that was tearing her apart.

And that, Jackie finally admitted to herself, was why she had to leave.

Jackie steeled herself, sat up, wiped away her tears and crawled off her bed. She turned on her desk lamp and pulled out her best, lavender stationery. She started to write, feeling better than she had in days.

* * *

Something was up with Jackie.

He didn't know if anybody else picked up on it, but he _knew_ her. And something was up. She acted like the same old Jackie, but it wasn't natural. He had to bite his tongue to stop himself from asking what was wrong. He didn't get to ask anymore.

The last few weeks Hyde had to employ his Zen skills more than he ever had to before. His heart tightened every single time her names was mentioned; his pulse raced when he heard her voice; his stomach dropped when he saw her; his throat closed up when he smelled her perfume.

Why did he have to be so stubborn? Why did he jump to conclusions about Kelso? Why didn't he send Sam home when he had the chance?

Honestly, it wasn't stubbornness. It was a lack of self-esteem. He wasn't good enough for Jackie. He knew it. She didn't.

They may both hurt right now, but in the long run, she would be better off. And knowing that might make the ache dull eventually. Dull. It would never go away. He would love her forever. And, for what he did to her, he deserved to ache forever.

But, for now, for her to get better, he'd have to act like he was better.

Jackie waited until Fez was at the salon before starting to pack. She had received the job offer a week after sending out the letter, accepted it the day after, arranged for an apartment over the weekend, and worked it out for Randy to take over her part of the lease.

After swearing Randy to silence, of course.

Boy, she hoped Fez would forgive her - for Randy, and for not saying goodbye. Right now, he was the only one she wanted to say goodbye to, but she didn't want to give him the chance to talk her out of it.

The last box fit perfectly on the passenger seat of the beater car she bought yesterday. Going back into the apartment, she sat at the desk she was leaving behind with the rest of the furniture. She left one piece of her good lavender paper there. Picking up a pen, she began to write.

_Dear Fez,_

_You have been an amazing friend the last couple of years. I know there have been plenty of times when I didn't return the favor. This is one of them, in a big way._

_I can't be here anymore. It hurts too much._

_I have to become the person I'm supposed to be. I've finally realized that that person isn't going to be Steven's wife. It's time for me to want more than that._

_Please watch out for the others. Tell the lumberjack she's my best friend. Tell Kelso I love him and am proud of him. When Eric gets back, tell him I've enjoyed playing the Evil forces to his Luke Skywalker. Tell Steven_

Tears sprung to Jackie's eyes, and she took a deep, gasping breath. It took a few minutes to steady her hand enough to write. She didn't want to say she loved him, even though she did. She didn't want to say she forgave him, because she couldn't. How could she protect herself?

_it's better this way._

Even though it's really not.

_I love you, Fez!_

_Jackie._

She placed the note on his pillow, took one last look around and closed the door.

Closed the door to her apartment, on her life in Wisconsin, and on any kind of a future with Steven Hyde.


	2. Chapter 2

Breaking Free

By: Ereye

Summary: Along the same lines as the current popular trend of "Jackie leaves and comes back years later," only I don't want them to have to wait so long. And she won't be pregnant. But there's heartache, growing up, angst and, eventually, mushiness. What more can people want?

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Chapter Two: New beginnings

The door to the Foreman's basement swung open with unnatural force as Fez stormed in.

"Hey, man. What's up?" Hyde asked.

"What's up? What's up! I will tell you what's up!" Fez crossed his arms and huffed some air out.

"Jackie is gone."

"What!" Donna asked, sitting up straighter.

"She left today. She just left a note, didn't even say where she was going."

"I don't believe this."

Fez pulled the note out of his pocket and read to Donna and Hyde what Jackie told him to tell them. He didn't read the whole note, sure that most of it was for his eyes only.

Donna and Fez spent the next couple of minutes discussing where Jackie could have gone. They didn't even realize how quietly Hyde sat, only noticing him when he stood and walked into his bedroom.

The two shared a glance, both knowing that things wouldn't be alright in Point Place for quite a while.

* * *

She can't really be gone. She can't be. He knew she would never be his again, but he figured he'd at least be able to see her.

Hyde sat on his bed, numb, staring at the ground. The clothes hanging in his closet, the bra draped over the chair, the sickly sweet perfume that was so different from Jackie's light breath of a scent – it all nauseated him now.

He knew the items – and their owner – had to go as soon as possible. Even if he could never be with Jackie, it was the least he could do to send Sam packing.

At that moment, she walked in. He stood, closed the door and turned to her. She may have been a stupid stripper, but she knew what he was going to say when she saw the expression on his face. She was packed and gone by the end of the day.

The thing was, her leaving made Hyde feel better, happier than he had in a long time. Yet, with Jackie gone, he was more depressed and lost than he ever felt. The conflict in emotions made his heart ache something fierce.

* * *

Jackie Burkhart had never been so nervous. What many people – except Hyde, whispered a traitorous voice in her head – didn't know is she is not as full of herself as she acts. Maybe at one point, she really did believe her beauty would get her everything she wanted, but not anymore. Now, she had to earn it. She _wanted _to earn it.

Today was her first day at her new job with a TV affiliate in Minneapolis. She'd be doing research and background for news stories, but she hoped to work herself up to being a TV reporter, even an anchor.

Part of her wished she could call Donna or Fez – or Steven – and share her news with them. But she decided while driving to Minneapolis that she couldn't let her longing for her friends get in the way of moving on with her new life.

In fact, she would force herself not to call anyone in Point Place for at least three months and then, to reward herself, she'd call Red. She was so proud that he actually kind of liked her, and truthfully she loved him for being the strong father figure for their whole group. She hoped she was successful enough by then for him to be proud of her.

Pulling into the parking lot, Jackie turned off her engine, smoother her skirt and took a couple deep breaths. She let the "Jackie" mask fall over her, smiled and exited the car.

* * *

The three months had gone by quicker than she could have imagined.

There were times when she still cried herself to sleep, times she longed for Steven to be there to wrap her in his arms.

For the most part, though, she thought she was getting over him. Three months ago, she wouldn't have that it possible, that she'd never get over him.

But life here was … OK. The job was going good, they were talking about letting her do some stories.

She was even making friends with a couple co-workers.

But now, when she was planning to call the Foremans, some of the old pain reared its ugly head. She tried to calm herself down enough to dial, hoping that Red would be the one to answer.

Finally, she gathered the courage. The phone rang twice before clicking into life on the other end.

"Hello?" Jackie smiled at hearing Red's voice.

"Hello, Mr. Foreman. It's Jackie."

In Wisconsin, Red felt a rush of relief. He had been worried about the girl – never admitting it, of course.

He glanced over at the kitchen table, where Hyde and Donna sat eating pie Kitty had made that morning. He pulled the phone cord into the living room.

"Hello. How are you doing?"

"I'm really good. I – I'm sorry for not calling before."

"Just as long as you're OK. Where are you?"

"Minneapolis. I have a job with the ABC affiliate. They're going to let me do some news reports next week.

"That's great. I'm happy for you."

Jackie smiled and blushed. "Thank you. Uh, I miss you Mr. Foreman."

"Well, we all miss you here, too. Donna and Steven are here if you want to talk to them."

"No!" The negative came out so quickly and vehemently it surprised both of them. Jackie tried to calm down again. "Mr. Foreman, I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anybody I called."

"What?"

"I… I have a new life now. I don't want to make things harder for everybody. I just wanted to let you know I'm OK. I'll call again."

She hung up before he could get a word in edgewise. Then, she burst out crying.


	3. Chapter 3

Breaking Free

By: Ereye

Summary: Along the same lines as the current popular trend of "Jackie leaves and comes back years later," only I don't want them to have to wait so long. And she won't be pregnant. But there's heartache, growing up, angst and, eventually, mushiness. What more can people want?

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Chapter 3: Moving on

"I know the perfect guy for you, Jackie."

Jackie cast an exasperated look at her co-worker Sandy. Apparently, there were _several_ perfect guys for her, if all her friends and co-workers could be believed.

She tended to laugh all of them off. It had been almost a year since she left Wisconsin and, for the most part, she _was_ over Steven. She just wasn't ready to try again.

Once in a while, though, she got mad and said to just leave her alone.

And, once in a great while, she was tempted to take them up on the offer.

She walked away from Sandy and toward the front door, ready to go home after a long, tiring work week.

As she was walking out, she made eye contact with a man walking in. Her heart leaped a little, a completely foreign feeling after so long.

He smiled briefly, and she discreetly turned to watch him walk over and talk to Sandy.

Maybe, just maybe, it was time to take her up on the offer.

* * *

­­

Hyde didn't understand how the others could just let her fade away like this. Someone who had been a part of their lives for so long had to leave an empty space in the group.

They still talked about Eric. Then again, they knew he was coming back. He called; he wrote.

He didn't vanish.

A while ago, the pain had transmuted into anger. He was so mad that she didn't come back. See, he had been lying to himself – he finally admitted that. She wasn't better off without him, because if they were together, he'd spend the rest of his life making sure every day was better than the last.

He wanted her so much. He had thought she wanted him. Maybe she did, still, but she wouldn't let herself. And he only had himself to blame.

* * *

It started slowly; both of them had been hurt and didn't want to feel that again.

His name was Mark, and he was going to law school.

Until she met him, she didn't think there were boyfriends like him. He was beautiful, like Michael, smart like Steven, but unlike the two of them, he treated her wonderfully. He said she was smart; he didn't mind that sometimes she was shallow; after his hurt, she knew he would never cheat either.

A small part of her whispered that he didn't incite the same kind of passion Steven did. He didn't really inspire her to better herself. He didn't need her to take care of him.

She stubbornly told herself that that was a good thing. Without that passion, there wasn't that pain. She didn't need to better herself because he thought she was good enough. He could take care of himself – and her, if she wanted him to.

It really _was _better this way.

* * *

Point Place was a happy place again. It had taken awhile after Eric returned; Donna and he had a lot to work through, but they were doing great now.

They were engaged … again. Plans were moving forward quickly – they didn't want to wait any longer.

But today, for some reason, Donna was sad. She, Hyde and Eric sat at the kitchen table with Red while Kitty cooked them breakfast.

"What's wrong, Sweetie?" Kitty asked.

Donna glanced over at Hyde before answering.

"I was just wondering who would be my Maid of Honor. It should be Jackie…"

Hyde's stomach dropped, but the Zen worked to protect him again. The Zen and the sunglasses, that is.

He noticed Red and Kitty share a look. Red softly groaned and put down the newspaper. He walked over to counter, opened a drawer and took out a slip of paper. Walking back to the table, he held it out to Donna.

"She's in Minneapolis. I've talked to her a couple times. She's OK."

The three younger people stared at Red, incredulous.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Hyde's voice was quiet and almost unrecognizable.

Red stared at Hyde, trying not to let his pain for Jackie spill over and be taken out on Hyde. He knew deep down, the boy was hurting too."

"She asked me not to."

Just a flicker of reaction broke through Hyde's stony exterior, but he quickly got it back under control.

Donna walked over to the phone, so excited to talk to her friend for the first time in almost two years. She didn't even let Red's statement bother her. She looked back at the boys while the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Jackie? Oh my God, it's Donna."

There was a pause but, while she was surprised, Donna could tell Jackie was glad to hear from her too.

"Donna!"

The two shared some pleasantries, uncomfortable and awkward after so long a time. Finally, Donna got to the point.

"Uh, Jackie. The reason I'm calling – Eric and I are getting married next month. Will you be my maid of honor?"

"Oh my God! Donna!" The two boys couldn't help but smile as Jackie's shriek carried to where they were sitting, although it also felt like a stab to Hyde's heart.

Part of Jackie wanted to say no, afraid of seeing Steven again after a long, hard two years.

But part of her thought this might be the final test to prove she was over him.

Plus, she always knew she'd be Donna's maid of honor.

The smile on Donna's face told Eric and Hyde what Jackie's answer was. And Hyde had to stifle his own smile.

_Jackie is coming home._


	4. Chapter 4

Breaking Free

By: Ereye

Summary: Along the same lines as the current popular trend of "Jackie leaves and comes back years later," only I don't want them to have to wait so long. And she won't be pregnant. But there's heartache, growing up, angst and, eventually, mushiness. What more can people want?

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews. They really make my day!

Chapter 4: Homecoming

The butterflies in Jackie's stomach became more and more insistent the closer she got to Point Place. She let out a slow breath, trying to get rid of the nauseous feeling.

She pulled into the Foreman's driveway, her heart twinging at how familiar everything was. She stopped the car, staring straight ahead for a few minutes before glancing over at Mark.

She hoped it was OK with Donna that she brought him. She wanted some back up – and a small part of her wanted to rub it in Hyde's face.

But she ignored that part of her – because if that was true, then she wasn't really over him.

And she had to be over him. She was getting married in two months.

Jackie reached for the sliding door, ready to open it and walk in like she used to. She paused, wondering if she still had that privilege.

She looked back at Mark, who was still sitting in the car. He was going to give her a few minutes alone to catch up with her friends.

Before she could wonder about it more, she opened the door and walked in. The kitchen was empty, and Jackie's heart beat even faster. She just wanted to get it over with!

She poked her head into the living room to find it was empty too. She took a couple deep breaths to calm herself, knowing where she had to go next.

Opening the basement door, she could hear the TV and voices. Smiling to herself at how some things never change, Jackie decided she would surprise her old friends.

She started going down the stairs slowly and softly, avoiding the third step that squeaked. Then she heard _his_ voice. And her heart skipped a beat. He, Fez and Eric were having one of their stupid, TV-related debates.

Oh, how she had missed this.

_Wait!_ No, she hadn't. Jackie squared her shoulders. She was just confused about seeing him again after so long. It was only natural. She loved Mark now.

She decided waiting any longer meant that she was afraid to see him. And since that obviously wasn't true, she piped in with an "Eric, that's so stupid" – not even really sure what he had just said and that she was supposedly mocking him about.

Donna and Fez shrieked and ran over to hug her, while Eric stood up, trying to hide the smile on his face.

"Oh my God, we weren't even speaking of the devil, and in she walks."

Jackie cocked her head and glared at him, still avoiding looking over at the other person in the room.

"Oh, Eric. I've missed you too." She was surprised at how un-sarcastic she sounded, not wanting to admit that the statement was actually true.

Finally, she looked over at him. He was sitting in his usual chair – which had been for so long _their_ chair. He had his sunglasses on, so she couldn't see his eyes. But, if she could still read his body language, he was as uncomfortable as she was. Trying to diffuse the situation, she smiled.

"Steven."

"Jackie."

* * *

She was just as beautiful as he remembered. The room came alive when she walked in, making him realize yet again that their group just wasn't complete without her in it.

His heart broke as he looked at her; he wanted to stand up and go to her, take her in his arms and beg her to never leave him again.

But he was Hyde. He was Zen.

And he was scared she'd say no.

He had been preparing for this moment ever since Donna had spoken to Jackie on the phone. But the way his stomach felt right now, it was like all his hard work was for nothing. She still took his breath away.

Why, why did he have to be so stubborn?

But he could tell she was nervous and uncomfortable too. Her mannerisms were still as obvious to him now as if these two years hadn't passed. And the fact that she was uncomfortable actually made him happy. It gave him hope.

Hope that maybe, just maybe their time apart has been as hard on her as it has been on him. That maybe she still loved him. Maybe she could forgive him. Maybe he still had a chance at happiness and love.

And she smiled at him again. He had to force himself from smiling back.

And he knew deep inside, if he worked hard enough the next couple days, there won't be any "maybe's" about it.

At that moment, Kitty's trademark laugh echoed downstairs to them. She had obviously just gotten home from the store.

She called downstairs. "Jackie, your friend didn't have to wait in the car!"

Kitty hopped down the stairs, going over to give Jackie a hug.

But Hyde was paying attention to the guy that had followed Kitty down. A tall, handsome man, nice clothes, white teeth, perfectly groomed hair.

Hyde hated him.

"Uh… everyone, this is Mark. My fiancée."

And Hyde's heart broke all over again.


	5. Chapter 5

Breaking Free

By: Ereye

Summary: Along the same lines as the current popular trend of "Jackie leaves and comes back years later," only I don't want them to have to wait so long. And she won't be pregnant. But there's heartache, growing up, angst and, eventually, mushiness. What more can people want?

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Chapter 5 – Matchmaking

Hyde had never before needed his sunglasses this much. They were perfect to hide his glare at this … interloper as he sat on the couch, with an arm around _his_ Jackie. The Zen face also helped mask his true feelings as he sat silently, arms crossed, feet up on the coffee table.

It was hard to mask those feelings. Pain aside, he also was ecstatic. Jackie was _here_. She was sitting in the basement. She was yammering on about her job and life.

He ignored what she was said about Mark, but allowed himself to feel happy and proud for her about everything else. He let the shrill, almost grating sound of her voice rush into his ears and soothe his aching heart.

Donna, Fez and Eric interrupted every now and then to ask questions, but for the most part Jackie carried on the conversation almost entirely by herself. Mark added things here and there, and some of the things he said made Hyde want to punch him. He was just too perfect.

He was everything Hyde wasn't.

And thinking about it that way meant, she never really loved Hyde if she could also love his opposite – or she didn't really love Mark and specifically looked for someone that didn't remind her of their time together.

Or, maybe he was just grasping at straws.

But then, something happened. He saw Jackie glance in his direction, then look quickly down at her lap, blushing. And that's when he knew he could still get under her skin.

Hyde's heart leapt. Maybe Jackie didn't want perfection after all.

* * *

Jackie couldn't help her constant stream of chatter. She knew she should shut up and let somebody else talk for awhile, but she was kind of afraid that if she lost control of the conversation, then she'd also lose control of the willpower that was keeping her acting like everything was perfect.

It just felt _wrong._ She was sitting next to her fiancé, the now-familiar feel of his arm heavy across her shoulders. But she knew that, especially in this basement, she shouldn't be sitting on the couch. She should be sitting on Hyde's lap. Mark's arm shouldn't be around her shoulder; Hyde's arm should be encircling her waist. He should be whispering into her ear the sweet things that he only ever said to her, when he let his guard down and was _Steven_ instead of Hyde.

And as the pain and nausea became even worse, she finally had to admit to herself she wasn't over him. She didn't think she would ever be over him. Coming home was a bad idea.

She stole a look at Mark, and steeled her resolve. She may not be over Steven, but she made a promise to Mark.

And Mark had one thing that Steven didn't – he wanted to marry her.

She was through letting Steven hurt her, through letting him say "I don't know." After all the pain she suffered, she just wanted to be with someone that wanted her. Even if _she_ wanted to be with someone else.

She'd just have to learn to deal with it - because she wouldn't let Hyde hurt her again.

* * *

Donna and Jackie were sitting in Donna's room, where they'd be sleeping just like the old days. Mark was on the downstairs couch, which meant the two were catching up on the girl talk.

Jackie had finally asked about Steven, wanting to know what was going on in his life. Since he had barely said two words in the basement all night, Jackie didn't know the first thing about how the last two years had affected him.

She tried to ask without letting any emotion betray her, but the lack of emotion – coupled with the fact that Donna knew her pretty well even after their separation – was a red flag to Donna that Jackie still cared.

And since it was a secret hope of Donna's that Jackie coming home would lead to reconciliation, she smiled inside. She knew Hyde still loved Jackie, even though he never said anything about it. Even if she didn't see his face when Jackie's name was mentioned, or The Price is Right came on TV, or even when somebody mentioned shopping, she would have known because of the fact that he hadn't been on a single date since both Jackie and Sam had left.

So she had to pick her words carefully. She didn't want to play her hand too soon. She didn't know if Jackie still loved Hyde, or if there was just some unresolved issues she wanted to take care of before riding off into the sunset with her fiancé, who seemed nice enough but who just didn't make Jackie sparkle like Hyde did.

So she told her about Sam leaving almost right after Jackie did – but she said it like it was really no big deal. She told Jackie how the radio store had done wonders for the self-confidence of a boy who used to think he would amount to nothing because of the side of the tracks he came from.

She said, "No, Hyde hasn't really been seeing anyone in a while" almost like she just realized it now that she was thinking of it.

And as Jackie avoided eye contact and acted as if she didn't really care about what she was hearing, Donna began to get more excited and more hopeful. Her mind started whirring, thinking about the next step in the matchmaking plot.

* * *

That night, Hyde tossed and turned on his bed, trying to force the thoughts of Jackie – and what she might be doing with Mark at that moment – out of his mind.

He knew he was going to fight for her, but he didn't know what his first battle plan should be. He couldn't just go up to her and declare his feelings. That would be a little …rash.

But he couldn't be too subtle; there wasn't much time. And, plus, Jackie sometimes didn't pick up on subtlety. It was one of the things he loved about her.

Part of him wanted to be his old self around her, to remind her of the person she used to love. But, another part of him warned this might not be the best course of action because reminding her of that person would also remind her of the person who constantly hurt her.

So he didn't know what he was going to do. But he knew he had to come up with something – and soon. This was the most important project of his life, after all.


	6. Chapter 6

Breaking Free

By: Ereye

Summary: Along the same lines as the current popular trend of "Jackie leaves and comes back years later," only I don't want them to have to wait so long. And she won't be pregnant. But there's heartache, growing up, angst and, eventually, mushiness. What more can people want?

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Chapter 6: Wedding gowns

Hyde slid open the Forman's kitchen door, stopping to kiss Mrs. Forman on the cheek before sitting at the table. He had moved into his own apartment last year, but still came over for breakfast most days. Laurie would mock him for still mooching, but he didn't do it to get free food – he did it because he knew how much Mrs. Forman loved feeding all of her "kids".

Eric was already digging into a pile of pancakes, hair askew and pajamas still on. Meanwhile, Red looked up from his newspaper long enough to glance at Hyde. He pretended to look frustrated, but Hyde knew he didn't think breakfast was the same without both boys there, either.

"So, boys. What's the plan for today?" Kitty giggled her nervous laugh, putting a plate of food in front of Hyde.

"Uh, I don't know. I don't have to be into work today." Over the years, W.B. had given Hyde more and more responsibility over the stores, but he also had more privileges – like taking days off now and then just because.

"Donna and Jackie are going to go pick up their dresses. Donna says I'm not allowed anywhere near her dress this time."

Hyde's shoulders shook as he recalled the horrible mess of things Forman made last time. Eric just glared at him.

"Oh, I'm so glad Jackie could come back for the wedding." Kitty sat down herself then, subtly glancing over in Hyde's direction. He noticed, but he was pretty sure Eric didn't. He knew Kitty at least – and probably Donna – still knew he had feelings, but he wasn't going to say anything. And, thankfully, neither of them had blatantly called him on it.

At that moment, the sliding door opened again, as Jackie, Mark and Donna walked into the kitchen. Jackie squealed and leaned over to hug Red, who tried to look like he was merely putting up with it, but Hyde noticed he actually lifted one arm to hug back.

That was about all he noticed. The rest of his senses shut down. She was so close the smell of her perfume teased his nostrils; her side was almost touching his shoulder. So close, yet so far.

Donna, meanwhile, walked over to peck Eric's lips with her own, and Mark just stood awkwardly to the side.

"Eric." Jackie's short, bossy tone made Eric snap to attention just like in the old days. "Can Mark hang out with you while Donna and I go shopping?"

"Uhh…" Eric was at a loss for words. He tried to meet Hyde's eyes, but was unable to with the sunglasses. Kitty, though, was true hostess to the core and answered for him.

"Oh, that would be wonderful. You boys can all get to know each other better."

Donna and Eric had no trouble meeting each other's eyes, and they could both tell what the other one was thinking: uh oh.

* * *

The TV was the only sound in the basement. Mark and Eric sat on either end of the couch, while Hyde sat in his customary chair, arms crossed, feet on the table, attention fully on the show that no one was actually watching.

"So…" Mark broke the silence. "Guys, tell me about yourselves. Jackie mentioned you once in a while, but only ever really talked about her cheerleading friends. How did you guys know her?"

Eric glanced over at Hyde, who resolutely ignored them. He cleared his throat, uncomfortable.

"Well we first met Jackie through Kelso."

"Oh, Michael. Right."

"Yeah, then she just kind hung around us after they broke up. And then she started dating Hyde."

Mark looked at Hyde, shocked. "Really? Oh, wait, wait. I think she might have mentioned dating a Steven a little while. Is your first name Steven?"

"Yep." Hyde's tone was short and non-committal.

"You guys must not have dated very long, huh? She didn't have as much to say about you as Michael."

Hyde looked over at Mark, his face almost granite except for a slight clenching of the jaw that Eric wouldn't have seen if he wasn't watching for _something_.

"A couple years."

"Really? Wow." Mark looked between the two other guys nervously, not really understanding why Jackie hadn't told him more about this guy, but also not wanting to give the impression that his and Jackie's relationship wasn't as good as it should be. "I guess I don't have to tell you what a great girl she is, then, huh?"

"Yeah. Great." Hyde looked back at the screen, and the other two fell back into silence, uncomfortable again.

Hyde silently seethed in his chair. This guy was such a phony! How could Jackie have agreed to marry him, much less date him?

What was worse though, was that he, Hyde, apparently didn't mean enough for her to tell her future fiancé about. Like it didn't matter that at one point she desperately wanted to marry someone else – and not in the childish way she wanted to marry Kelso. Like it had never really happened.

_Unless… _Hyde sat up straight in his chair, letting his arms uncross and fall into his lap as realization struck. _Unless it hurt too much to talk about someone she still loved._

He smiled his evil, mastermind grin. It may be true, it may not be. But from now on, he'd be operating under that assumption.

* * *

"Oh my God, Donna!" This maid of honor dress is so beautiful. Thank you so much!"

"No problem. I knew the blue would go well with your hair color."

"Well," Jackie smirked over at her old friend, letting her old demeanor fall over her shoulders like a comfortable coat. "of _course_ it would, Donna." She smiled, letting the taller girl know she was just kidding.

Donna, however, didn't need the smile to know that. It was fairly obvious that this woman wasn't the same shallow, self-centered girl she first met so long ago. It wasn't even the same, slightly less shallow girl that had left their lives two years ago. Even that Jackie would have been making the wedding be at least just as much about her as it was about Donna. But now, Donna could tell that she cared about more important things than looks and money.

"So. Tell me about Mark. How did you meet?"

Jackie quickly told the story. But, a scheming Donna noticed, it was more of a matter-of-fact story than the gushing, joyful exclamations of a girl in love.

Therefore, she was beginning to feel a little more enthusiastic about a potential reconciliation. Until something happened that put a damper on that fantasy.

Jackie gasped, much like she would have years ago at seeing a shoe sale. She walked in a daze to the other side of the dress shop, her arms outstretched toward an almost simple, white wedding gown.

"Donna! This is the dress I've been looking for. I haven't been able to find anything like it at home."

Donna stared at the dress in question, shocked. It was so elegant, so non-flashy, so un-Jackie. And Donna knew it would look perfect on her.

"Try it on!" Jackie glanced back at Donna, eyes sparkling and face flushed.

"Do we have time?"

"Of course, go ahead." Donna collected the maid of honor dress from Jackie's arms, and the shorter girl went to carefully grab hold of the wedding gown.

In the changing room, Jackie stepped into the dress almost hesitantly. Zipping up the dress that fit perfectly, she turned to look at herself in the mirror.

It was the most beautiful dress. She'd be an amazing bride, and she'd have a perfect man on her arm as husband. But, even as she thought of Mark, her mind drifted back to years ago when she had a different wedding gown on.

Steven had looked at her like she was the only woman in the world. And she could tell in his eyes that, as much as he denied it, he had fast-forwarded to the future, to their own wedding, to when she'd actually be the bride.

And he had looked at her with such love in his eyes.

And she knew that no matter how perfect Mark was, he wasn't the perfect husband for her. One hand went to her mouth to stifle the sob that wanted to tear from her throat, while the other went to her stomach as she doubled over. Her breath came in gasps as she tried not to cry.

Donna could _not_ hear her cry. Her love for Steven had to remain a secret.

She quickly got out of the dress and hung it reverently back on its hanger. She wanted it desperately, but she wasn't going to buy it. That dress would have made her the perfect bride. Therefore, she didn't want to wear it unless she was marrying her perfect husband.

She squared her shoulders and walked out of the dressing room. Donna was waiting expectantly.

"Well."

"Eh. Not for me."

Donna reeled back, confused. "Uh. Okay. Let's go."

Jackie took back her maid of honor dress from Donna. Glancing over to make sure Donna wasn't watching, Jackie took one last look at the dress.


	7. Chapter 7

Breaking Free

By: Ereye

Summary: Along the same lines as the current popular trend of "Jackie leaves and comes back years later," only I don't want them to have to wait so long. And she won't be pregnant. But there's heartache, growing up, angst and, eventually, mushiness. What more can people want?

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Chapter 7: Questions

The boys were still watching TV and not talking an hour later, when the outside door slammed open. Jackie and Donna walked in, still laughing over some private conversation.

They brought an energy into the room that all the boys could feel. The girls walked over to their respective fiancés, kissing them quickly. It was the first time Hyde saw Jackie kiss Mark, and it was all he could do not to stand up and punch him.

"Did you have fun?"

"Yep. Donna picked out a wonderful maid of honor dress. It's light blue, with an empire waist …"

Hyde half-smiled, loving to hear Jackie talk about fashion.

"and this really …"

"Hon? Why don't you just surprise me with it?"

Jackie stopped talking immediately. Hyde glanced over just in time to see a flash of hurt cross her face before she smiled and sat down.

"OK." She said cheerily.

Hyde frowned, clenching his crossed arms closer to his chest.

Yes, Jackie could ramble on about stupid stuff, but listening to her do so provided some of his best memories. Sure, he mocked her; sure, he pretended not to listen. But there was never a time he didn't hear what she was saying.

Jackie liked to talk, about stupid stuff and about important stuff. It was just as necessary to listen to the stupid stuff because Jackie, even when she was the conceited little princess, was insecure. Listening to everything she said was the way to show her you loved her.

Not to mention that not letting Jackie talk was not letting her be _her._

Jackie cleared her throat.

"Come on, Mark. I'll show all my old hangouts." She stood, tugged her shirt into place and pulled Mark up to join her. "See you guys later."

Hyde was glad his chair faced the door so he could watch her leave with no one noticing.

He did, however, notice Donna looking at him after they left, obviously wanting to say something to him. After a few minutes, he finally met her eyes and cleared his throat.

"I'm fine, Donna."

"Sure you are."

He sighed and turned his attention back to the TV.

"Alright. I'll see you later."

"Uh huh."

* * *

"And this is the water tower. Note the artwork. Bet you never would have guessed that I used to hang out with vandals."

Jackie had been almost nervous giving Mark a tour of Point Place. He hadn't said anything and seemed upset about something. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore.

"What? What is wrong?"

Mark didn't even try to act like everything was fine, which she appreciated.

"Why didn't you tell me about Hyde? You had no problem telling me about Michael?"

Jackie's mouth went dry as her heart started beating painfully in her chest. She avoided his eyes and tried to answer without betraying her feelings.

"Steven and I were a summer fling that just lasted too long. I told you about Michael because he was my first boyfriend."

"I told you about all the girls I dated."

"I told you Steven and I dated, just not all the details. I'm dating you – I didn't think the guys I _used_ to date were that important."

"So you didn't love him?"

"I'm not going to lie. I did love him. But it ended a long time ago."

Mark sighed. "Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"No." She stepped close to him, wrapping her arms around him. "How did you find out anyway?"

"Oh, Eric told me."

"Oh." Jackie hoped she didn't sound as sad as she thought she did. When he had first mentioned Hyde, a part of her had hoped that he had told Mark.

* * *

Hyde sprawled out on his cot, arms behind his head. He couldn't sleep and was remembering those nights after Jackie's dad went to jail when she would sneak in to sleep with him.

They never did more than kissing, sleeping and a little heavy petting. But just being with her, holding her, wrapping his body around her as they drifted into sleep, waking up in the early morning hours to watch her peaceful and happy, the tousled mess of her hair, the lack of makeup on her face that had once made Kelso scream but that made him think she never looked more beautiful ….

The memories were starting to affect his body, and he shifted uncomfortably. And that's when he heard the basement door opening. His heart sped up, sure he was imagining things.

Or fantasizing about them.

Then his door opened slowly and he sat up, propping himself up on his elbows. It was dark in the room, but he'd know that perfume anywhere.

"Jackie?"

"Not a word, Steven." She whispered before crawling across the cot, grabbing his face and pulling him in for a searing, mind-blowing kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

Breaking Free

By: Ereye

Summary: Along the same lines as the current popular trend of "Jackie leaves and comes back years later," only I don't want them to have to wait so long. And she won't be pregnant. But there's heartache, growing up, angst and, eventually, mushiness. What more can people want?

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Chapter 8: Repaving roads

A loud rap on the door caused Hyde to leap nearly two feet off his bed. Heart pounding, sweat beading on his forehead, he gasped for air and tried to calm down.

He could almost still smell the perfume.

Hell, he was in his apartment; he hadn't slept on the cot in a year! Looking around his empty room, he realized it was a dream.

Or a torturous nightmare, depending on your perspective.

Hyde ran a hand over his face and opened the door a crack for Forman.

"What's up?"

"Dude, it's 2. We were supposed to meet at The Hub at 11."

"Sorry, man. Didn't sleep very well last night."

Eric smirked. "Really?"

"Forman. I'm fine."

"Yeah. Sure." Hyde glared at Eric before backing up to allow him access to the apartment.

"So have you talked to her yet?"

"No. There's nothing to talk about."

"How about the fact that you still love her, that you're sorry about Sam, that you're sorry for being a commitment-phobic, paranoid, non-trusting…"

"Forman! There's nothing to talk about."

Eric just smirked while Hyde went off to change. In his room, he flipped through his shirts, his fingers pausing on his Zepplin shrit. Jackie's Zepplin shirt.

She had left it hanging all alone in her closet when she moved. It had ripped his heart out. But what was even worse was that she had washed it first. Holding it as he curled up, clutching his stomach in pain, he could smell the detergent, but he couldn't smell her. He had come close to throwing the shirt out, not wanting to be reminded of her. But he could never bring himself to do it.

And now he knew that was a good thing - because now it was going to come in handy.

Smiling, he tore the shirt off its hanger for the first time in two years.

* * *

Jackie skipped down the stairs of the Pinciotti home. She entered the living room, where Mark was putting on his shoes. 

"Hey, hon. If you don't mind, I was going to go to Milwaukee for the night. One of my best friends from college lives there now."

"Oh, that's fine."

"Did you want to go with?"

"No, Donna and I are doing wedding stuff." Jackie lied through her teeth, looking forward to an evening with just the old gang.

She walked him out to the car and kissed him. Waving while he backed out, she waited until he turned off the street before heading over to the Formans.

She went down the outside stairs and pushed open the door, ready to say hi to Donna, Fez and Eric. She stopped short when she saw Steven was the only one in the room.

Her breath caught in her throat. He had never looked so hot – sitting there, in _the_ Zepplin shirt, feet on the table, reading a magazine with the trademark sunglasses on.

Looking up from his magazine, he sat up straight, taking his feet off the table. To the casual observer, his facial expression didn't change, but Jackie had always been able to tell what he was thinking, even before he had taught her Zen.

He was nervous, and a little nauseous. Or, maybe, she couldn't read him anymore and she was just projecting her own feelings onto him.

"Jackie."

"Steven. Uh, how are you?" She walked slowly into the room, sitting on the side of the couch furthest from him. She clasped her hands and set them on her knees.

"I'm OK. You?"

"Good, good." She cleared her throat and sneaked a glance over at him. He was rubbing his palms against his jean-clad thighs.

_Man, he always looks so good in jeans…_

"It's…" Now, he cleared his throat. "It's really good to see you, Jackie."

An unwanted smile danced across her lips. She looked down at her hands. "It's good to see you, too."

She looked up and they made eye contact When had he taken off the sunglasses? Seeing his piercing eyes was almost too much to bear. And yet, she couldn't break the gaze. Neither spoke. Time seemed to stop, and Jackie had to remind herself to breathe.

Thankfully, Steven broke contact first, and he was also the first to break the silence.

"I'm glad to hear everything's going well for you."

"Thank you."

Hyde leaned forward, resting his forearms on his things.

_Time to put this plan into action…_

"Jackie, I-I've missed you."

He could hear her gasp and could almost tell that her heart started beating harder.

"Well, I've … missed you too."

"Are you happy?"

Jackie was shocked by the earnestness in his voice. She opened her mouth, not knowing what to honestly say, but before she could, Steven broke in again.

"Because, Jackie, you deserve to be. It's … all I've ever wanted for you." He stood up, walking over to her. Jackie leaned away from him, confused, not entirely trusting herself around him. Their eyes met again. "Because, Jackie, I really do love you."

Steven leaned forward, kissed her chastely on the forehead and softly smiled at her. He backed away and walked toward the stairs, leaving her alone. He paused on the way up to glance back. She still sat there, obviously in shock. He heard the tiniest of whispers.

"Do?"

He smirked and went up the rest of the stairs.

Jackie was still sitting in a confused, shocked state when Donna, Eric and Fez came down a few minutes later.

"Hey, Jackie."

"Hey." Her voice was flat, causing Donna to give her a worried look.

More footsteps on the stairs snapped Jackie out of her thoughts, as she turned to watch Steven coming back downstairs, carrying two Cokes. He handed her one with a smile, which she returned with a small quirk of her own mouth.

He took a long drag on his own bottle and threw himself back onto his chair.

Very soon, they were laughing and talking like no time had passed. However, throughout the evening, Jackie kept sneaking glances over at Steven, but he never seemed to be looking back. It was like that conversation had never happened. It was driving her _insane._

"Hey," Hyde said, sitting up straight again. "I have an idea. We need to celebrate … almost all of us being together again." He gave his patented, sly grin and nodded his head.

The others chuckled and moved their seats into "circle" position. The smoke hit Jackie hard and quick, and she was soon giggling and tipsy. She looked over at Steven, and he finally looked at her too. She had never seen him look so happy.

She felt like the others weren't in the room as they continued to just stare at each other. Pretty soon, the night grew to a close and they _were_ the only ones in the room. Fez had gone home, Eric and Donna went upstairs.

Jackie and Hyde had moved to the couch to watch TV. Unlike earlier in the evening, Jackie was comfortable being alone with him.

They were laughing at the late night show, trying to ignore the fact that they were sitting so close on the couch that had seen such private and good parts of their relationship.

Hyde had an arm on the back of the couch behind her, while their legs just slightly touched. If she let her head drop just a little more to the side, it'd be resting on his shoulder. Neither of them acknowledged the wrongness of their positions, just took advantage of the opportunity to share this forbidden time and closeness.

They again caught each other's eyes and smiled. Steven lifted his hand to brush a strand of hair behind her ear, while Jackie took in a deep, shaky breath. Hyde tried to hide a smile, leaned forward an infinitesimal amount, paused and then leaned in again. Jackie moved, ready to meet him halfway, even while her conscience screamed at her.

_You're engaged to Mark. Remember how Michael's cheating hurt, how the nurse hurt, how Sam hurt. You can't do that to him. You and Steven can never be. He'll just hurt you again._

But her heart's beating drowned out the voice in her head. There was nothing more she really wanted to do than kiss him, feel his arms around her, get lost in his scent, hear his voice whispering in her ear.

She wanted to love him, wanted to believe in love again, wanted to believe he loved her.

Their lips drew closer, almost touching. She could feel his breath on her, hot and coming faster. Her eyes drifted shut, aching for the contact.

It never came. Instead, she felt the couch shift, the arm move, the breath disappear. She opened her eyes to find Steven walking away from her, running a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry, Jackie. I – I don't know what came over me. I know you're engaged. You don't have to worry about me making a move again." He turned to face her, having to work hard to hide the smirk as he took in her flustered, disappointed expression.

"Uh." Jackie finally squeaked out.

"I'm sorry," he said again before racing up the stairs, leaving her alone again for the second time that evening.

She walked back over to Donna's house in a daze, trying to understand what happened. She stumbled into the house, glad Mark was still in Milwaukee because she could _not_ talk to him right now.

Tears sprung into her eyes as she tried to work out what to do. After tonight, she could no longer go through with the wedding. It wouldn't be fair to Mark, when she now knew she wasn't over Steven.

But how could she do that to Mark? He had opened her heart again, he had treated her right, she hadn't had to wonder how he felt because he always told her. He wasn't afraid of commitment, he didn't tease her about her shallowness and occasional stupid comments.

But she didn't love him.

However, could she trust Steven with her heart again? If she gave up her new life, how could she know that this time things would be different? That he really wanted to be with her, wanted a life with her?

She had thought that road was closed, yet in just a few short days, he had opened and repaved it. But how could she tell that it wasn't full of potholes?

Not to mention that part of her really hated Steven right now. He was messing with her; it was obvious. He knew exactly what he was doing.

And that made her wonder if he really wanted her – or just wanted her to suffer more.


	9. Chapter 9

Breaking Free

By: Ereye

Summary: Along the same lines as the current popular trend of "Jackie leaves and comes back years later," only I don't want them to have to wait so long. And she won't be pregnant. But there's heartache, growing up, angst and, eventually, mushiness. What more can people want?

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Chapter 9: The rehearsal

"Alright, so Eric, you'll stand here with Steven, Michael and Fez behind you." Pastor Dave bodily moved them into position – except for Kelso, who hadn't yet arrived.

"Then…" Pastor Dave pointed to the organist, who started playing. "First comes Jackie."

Hyde turned to watch as Jackie slowly walked up the aisle, looking slightly self-conscious. He swallowed around a lump in his throat and tried to catch her eye, but his stomach plummeted as she instead glanced over at where Mark was sitting and watching.

She finally made her way to the front of the church and stood opposite the boys.

"And now everyone will stand and face the aisle to watch Donna."

Donna walked down the aisle, grinning at Eric the whole way.

Pastor Dave quickly explained how the rest of the ceremony would go. After, they went back to the Formans for dinner.

Sitting in the living room, Hyde loosened his tie and rolled up his sleeves, still uncomfortable in anything other than T-shirts. He took a swig of beer, trying to pretend it didn't bother him that Jackie was sitting on Mark's lap and that she hadn't said a word to him today.

Was his plan backfiring? Maybe he shouldn't have played games with her. Maybe, for once, he should have just talked to her.

The wedding was _tomorrow_! And that meant Jackie would be leaving the day after. He was running out of time, and he felt further away from his goal than ever.

The door from the kitchen slammed open, and Kelso rushed in with his trademark boundless energy.

Eric and Donna hugged Kelso first, followed by Fez and Hyde. Jackie had stood up when he first came in, but hadn't yet gone over to him. He looked over at her and grinned.

"Damn, Jackie. It's good to see you!"

Jackie had one of the biggest smiles on her face that Hyde had seen. He watched as the exes met in a hug, and Kelso picked her up and swung her.

A small part of him would always be jealous of Kelso and the relationship and history he shared with Jackie. But what Hyde finally realized is that Kelso _wasn't_ a threat. Sure, he'd always have a special meaning to Jackie, but Hyde had had her heart - and he threw it away out of fear.

To Jackie, Kelso was a comforting, familiar presence, a big puppy dog, a reminder of a happier, simpler youth. He would always know Jackie in a different way than Hyde did, but not necessarily better.

And, in a way, he had to thank Kelso – not only for bringing her into their lives all those years ago, but also for helping make her into who she was.

He smiled as he watched the two gleefully say hello, a weight lifting off his heart as he realized they were actually all together again.

It was almost enough to not care about Mark's presence.

Markhad stood up to be introduced to Kelso and graciously moved to let him and Jackie sit together and catch up. Hyde half-listened as Jackie told Kelso about everything that happened to her in the last two years, struck again by how beautiful she was when excited.

His throat tightened, and he stood to go get another beer.

* * *

Jackie walked into the kitchen later in the evening to find Donna and Eric sitting in there.

"Avoiding your guests?"

"Yeah. So… bye." Eric said with a smile. Jackie just patted his shoulder and sat down at the table with them.

"Are you guys excited about tomorrow?" The two didn't have to answer – they just looked at each other and _glowed._

"Oooohhh!" Jackie squealed, half-standing to hug them both. "I'm so happy for you two."

"Don't worry, Jackie, you and Mark will be taking that step soon enough." Donna watched, confused, as Jackie's smile … dulled.

"Hey… uh, Eric. Why don't you go and spend time with the guys? You don't get to see Kelso too often."

Eric looked back and forth between the two girls. "Ok. I'll see you later."

He kissed Donna and walked back into the living room. Donna stared at Jackie, who wasn't meeting her eyes.

"Jackie?"

"Donna?"

"What's wrong?"

Jackie finally looked at her, a scared look on her face. "Oh, Donna. I don't think I can marry him."

"Cold feet?"

Jackie shook her head, swiping a hand across her eyes to catch the tears that welled there. "No, not that. I do love him. I do. I just… don't…"

"Love him as much as Hyde?" Donna asked carefully, trying not to let hope enter into her voice. She had to play this _exactly_ right. To her horror, Jackie burst out sobbing.

"I don't know what to do."

Donna reached out to pat Jackie on the back. "You know he still loves you, right?"

"Sometimes it seems that way. Sometimes it seems like he's just messing with my mind."

"Oh, that's just Hyde. He never says the right thing. You know that."

"It's not what he's saying; it's how he's acting. I can't even really describe it – I just know he's doing it. And it's tearing me up inside."

"Oh, Jackie… Why don't you just call him on it?"

"Because it's _Steven_. You know how he is when you make him actually confront things like feelings."

Donna smiled. "I know, but he might surprise you this time. And if not, you're going home in a few days."

"And I'd be going home with a re-broken heart. Why can he still do this to me, Donna? It's been TWO years. I should be over him by now."

"I don't think you can ever really get over the love of your life."

Jackie started sobbing again, rocking back and forth in her chair and clutching her stomach. The crying finally started to subside a few minutes later, and Jackie let out a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry, Donna. Here it is, the night before your wedding and you're in here, comforting me."

"That's okay. That's what friends are for."

"We're still friends? After I didn't even call you?"

"Of course, Jackie. If I stopped being a friend with you after every time you made me mad – well, we would have stopped being friends a long time ago."

Jackie smiled, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Well, then as a friend, Donna, that shirt…" Donna rolled her eyes as Jackie started giggling. Donna realized again how much Jackie had changed over the last two years.

"Alright, the guys are going to look for us soon. I'll go out there to make sure no one comes in here so you can have a few minutes of privacy."

"Thanks Donna."

As the taller girl went out to the living room, Jackie stepped outside into the entry way, allowing the cool evening air dry her wet cheeks. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Her problems, while still there, didn't seem so insurmountable now.

Donna was relieved to see Mark was not in the living room – she wouldn't have to explain her action of hitting Hyde upside the back of his head and glaring at him. He squirmed and looked sheepish, while the other boys quirked their heads at Donna. As Mark came back down the stairs, Hyde stood up and looked questioningly at Donna, who looked conflicted for a second before slightly nodding her head.

Hyde walked through the kitchen doors, as Donna engaged Mark in a conversation.

He saw her tiny frame standing outside in the dark and silently walked up behind her. He could tell she knew _someone_ was there, but didn't know if she knew it was him.

"Jackie?" He whispered, watching her back tense and feeling ashamed that he had that effect on her.

"Yes?" She didn't even turn around, not trusting herself.

"I…" Hyde steeled himself, reached up and physically turned her around to look at him. Her eyes were wide and still red from tears, and she gasped slightly. He stared at her, trying to convey how serious he was. Then he said, as clearly and strongly as he could, "I love you, Jackie."

He crushed her to him, covering her lips with his.


	10. Chapter 10

Breaking Free

By: Ereye

Summary: Along the same lines as the current popular trend of "Jackie leaves and comes back years later," only I don't want them to have to wait so long. And she won't be pregnant. But there's heartache, growing up, angst and, eventually, mushiness. What more can people want?

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Chapter 10: New beginnings

The ceremony was as beautiful as Kitty could've hoped. Donna was radiant; Eric didn't screw up once; Kelso didn't do anything idiotic.

Hyde didn't notice any of it.

He was on autopilot, offering the ring when his best man duties required it, but all he could really think about was last night – and the best kiss he ever had.

It was at the same time passionate and sweet, soft and deep. It was perfect – until she pushed him away.

Even now, the pain squeezed at his insides as he remembered her rushing back toward the house.

"_Don't you love me anymore?" His voice was strangled with fear._

_She stopped but wouldn't turn to look at him._

"_Of course I do." Hyde could tell she was about to cry again. "I'll always love you."_

"_Then what is this about? Mark?"_

"_No." Jackie shook her head and reached up to swipe at her tears. "No, I'm not going to marry Mark."_

"_Then-"_

"_I _can't!_" she choked out. "I just can't. Don't you know it will always be you and me? There's no one else for me." She drew in a shaky breath. "I can't do this again. I couldn't handle it ending again."_

_She finally turned to look at him, tears streaming down her face and causing her mascara to darken her cheeks._

"_I love you, Steven, but I'm scared. I'm scared that maybe we really aren't meant to be together."_

_He reached out and called her name, but she was already walking away from him. Again._

And now Hyde had to act – no, _be_ – happy for his best friends. How come they were able to survive all their hardships and break-ups? Why was their love enough?

He risked a glance over at her, heart breaking and soaring as he watched her smile at Donna and Eric.

At least Mark wasn't here. Eric told him that Donna said Jackie sent him home the night before – with his engagement ring.

That thought didn't make him as happy as he thought it would. Maybe because he wanted her to be happy, even if he couldn't be the one.

But why couldn't he?

* * *

The reception was small but fun. Eric had been taking lessons from Kitty – and a little from Hyde, who still remembered his own dancing woes – and spun Donna around the floor.

Now, others joined them as the DJ chose a faster song. Jackie and Fez went out together, just as good now as they've always been, and Hyde envied the ease with which they moved together even after years of silence.

A slow song took over again, and Fez gathered Jackie into his arms. Hyde watched, not noticing the bride sidling up next to him.

"Don't give up yet," she whispered. He jumped and turned to look at her. She winked.

"She doesn't want to be with me, Donna."

"Of course, she does. She's just scared. You need to give her a reason not to be."

The blushing bride went in search of her husband, while Hyde's eyes snapped back to Jackie like a paperclip to a magnet.

He thought about her, about the last two years, about the future stretching out in front of him, about his parents and the Formans, of love and friendship. All his doubts and fears chased each other in his head until he felt dizzy.

But Jackie was his anchor – watching her grounded him, calmed his mind, quieted his fears and soothed his nausea.

He drifted toward her and Fez, weaving among dancers he didn't really see.

"Can I cut in?" Fez backed away a smile as Jackie looked at Hyde with panic in her eyes, but yet she came willingly into his arms. They started dancing.

He pulled her closer and put his mouth next to her ear. He heard her gasp and felt her tense as his breath tickled her neck hairs.

"I know you're scared, and I understand why. I'm sorry for the last couple years, and for the way I treated you. I'm sorry I was afraid to be the man you wanted. I don't know if I can be that man, but I want to try. I want to spend my life trying. I know we've hurt each other – too many times to count – but being without you hurts worse than that."

He pulled back to look her in the eyes again. "Will you marry me, Jackie?'

She smiled and then put her mouth to his ear. "I've been waiting a long time to hear that, Steven, and I can't believe I'm going to say this – but no, not yet. We're not ready for that yet."

Hyde sighed, even as he acknowledged she was right.

"But I'm willing to see if we could be ready for that someday."

He grinned so wide his cheeks ached, but he grew confused as her smile faded.

"However, I – my life – I mean."

He understood now and put a finger to her lips. "I'll make my life anywhere you want me to. I hear Minneapolis is … a lot like Wisconsin this time of year."

"You would do that?"

"You were going to do it for me. It's the least I could do."

Tears started falling from Jackie's eyes again. She couldn't count how many times she had cried on this trip, but for the first time they were tears of happiness. Hyde wiped one tear away with his thumb and pulled her in again for a kiss.

He realized that, unlike last night, this was the perfect kiss – one of love, forgiveness and promise.

­­­­

* * *

Donna and Eric watched from the head table as their two best friends reunited.

"I knew those two crazy kids would end up together," Eric said in his "fatherly" voice as he slung his arm around his wife's shoulders.

"Yep," Donna said as she snuggled in. "All they needed was a little push."

The End

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